1. Truths I know about my mate
2. Lies I believe about my spouse
List #1 – Truths I know about my mate
- What do you objectively know to be true regarding your life partner?
- What sort of person is he or she?
- Think about your mate’s character and values.
Reflect on the answers to these questions. Now build a list of objective truths that describe this unique and gifted person that blesses your life daily.
List #2 – Lies I believe about my spouse
- My mate doesn’t care.
- When my spouse says or does something hurtful, it’s not an accident.
- He or she doesn’t appreciate me.
- I’m the only one actually making an effort.
- My spouse can never change.
- My partner is intentionally avoiding me or withholding love from me.
- And etc.
Common elements in lies we propagate:
- Question the motive
- Malign the intent
- Exaggerate the attitude
- Assume the emotions
- Repeat a single word/statement to give it more punch
- Read between lines that aren’t there
- Put words in the other’s mouth
- Go to extremes
At the core of all of these lies you will find an assumption that your spouse intended to hurt you and/or doesn’t care or notice you have been hurt. Furthermore, you’ll find an underlying fear that your needs will continue to go unmet and that the relationship can’t or won’t improve.
The Power of Truth
- Commitment – Assume the best about your mate in every situation. Every action. Every word. Every non-verbal expression. Interpret every point of contact in the most gracious way possible. When something seems off, assume that you misunderstood rather than assuming that your spouse intended harm.
- Duration – Try the challenge for one week. Next, stretch the challenge out to two weeks. Eventually work your way up to a full month.
- Accountability – Journal daily regarding how the challenge is going. Also, identify at least one person that can hold you accountable to the challenge. Pray together and connect periodically to help keep you on track.