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Category Archives: Marriage Renewal

I had no idea how expensive my affair would be

Posted on September 1, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Renewal, Our Story .
Nineteenth century Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, is famous for his use of metaphor, irony, and parable in explaining ethical and religious concepts. One particularly famous parable describes a rather odd crime:

Two thieves broke into a jewelry store one night, but instead of stealing the jewels they simply switched the price tags. They put high-priced tags on cheap jewelry and low-priced tags on valuable gems. For several weeks no one noticed. People bought cheap jewelry for exorbitant prices and rare jewels for next to nothing. 
Kierkegaard’s point is that we sometimes have difficulty assessing the actual value or cost associated with something. If we are told it is valuable, we believe it. If we are told something is cheap, we accept it as fact. Our concept of “price”, “worth”, and “value” are subject to the costs and benefits that we assign. But what happens if you assign these incorrectly? Worse yet, what happens if you accept a lie about what something is worth? We live in a fallen world where someone has switched all the price tags around. We assign unmerited value to things that are worthless, and overlook priceless items as inconsequential. We take the most valueable things for granted (integrity, honesty, commitment) while minimizing the full consequences of selfish actions.

 

Sin is expensive

Sin is expensive. Incredibly expensive. But the price isn’t paid in cash, it’s paid in mental, emotional, and spiritual pain. God didn’t create an arbitrary list of “DOs” and DON’Ts” to see if we could follow them. No, He laid out a set of essential guidelines for living. His anger towards lying, stealing, cheating, coveting, murder, jealousy, and pride is because all of these behaviors destroy relationships. Everything that the Bible labels as sin is something that God is trying to protect us from. His desire is love, peace, grace, and harmony with Him and with all of creation. Sin is our defiant rejection of this in an effort to satisfy our own selfish desires. Almost two years ago, I set out on a destructive path of selfishness that culminated in a two-month affair which nearly destroyed my family. I had no idea just how expensive that path would be. Sadly, we are still paying the price for my selfishness.

 

Every decision has a cost

What have you sold too cheaply?My economics professor told me years ago: “there is no free lunch.” If someone offers you something for free, you need to dig deeper. Every decision has a cost. Nothing is ever truly free. Even something that appears to be inconsequential initially, may have substantial long-term effects. The decision to eat unhealthy food has both an initial cost and a long-term cost. The same holds for decisions within relationships. 

 

At its core, all sin is selfishness. In some cases, that selfishness leads us to rationalize actions as being relatively inexpensive (“this will only really affect me, not anyone else”, “I can play near this fire and not get burned”). In all cases, the full emotional and mental cost of our selfish choices is not paid until months and years later. I truly believed that my affair in 2012 was a victimless crime. I naively thought it only impacted the two of us. I was dead wrong. In reality, it hurt every person in my family (myself included) and devastated my wife to such a degree that she is still paying the price nearly two years later.

 

The full cost of my affair

It is difficult to fully appreciate all the ways that my sin has impacted my life and the life of my family. There were initial costs, short-term costs, and long-term costs.
 
Initial Costs
  • Integrity – I have always been a fiercely loyal person. Loyal to family, friends, employers, hobbies, churches, etc. But in a moment of weakness, I sold my integrity as quickly as Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup. After I sold it once, I bought into the enemies lies that I had ruined everything and I might as well throw in the towel.
  • Self-esteem – Worthless. I felt completely worthless. Unworthy of Tammy’s love. Unworthy of God’s calling on my life. My best bet was to cut Tammy and the kids loose and move on so they could heal.
  • Stress – I lived a double life for two months. While I was trying to delicately unwind my marriage and let the kids down easy, I was under a terrible amount of stress. I’d never lived a life full of deceit and I don’t recommend it. I was constantly on edge and even developed a habit of grinding my teeth at night.
Short-term Costs
  • Heartache – As our relationship unraveled and I began pushing for divorce, Tammy and the kids were crushed. All six kiddos had been through divorce before. Those old wounds opened right back up, but this time they would be losing their step-siblings that they had grown to love. Tammy was confused, hurt, and frightened about her future and the kids future. 
  • Distance – My relationship with Tammy and the kids was frayed and distant. I pushed friends away, mentors away, and God away. I was too busy rationalizing my behavior to listen to wise counsel.
Finally, that fateful day at Starbucks arrived. Tammy and I sat down to divide assets and get everything ironed out for the divorce. She confronted me, the Holy Spirit worked on my heart, and we turned a crucial corner. We decided to fight for our marriage and for our family. But the full cost of my selfishness had not been paid yet.

 

Long-term Costs
  • Wounds – I wounded my children and my wife deeply. It took over two months before one of the girls began to trust me again and three more months for another (the third doesn’t really talk, so we aren’t sure). But Tammy has paid the highest price for my infidelity. Nearly two years later and she still has days that she must battle with ghosts from the past. Every day is a little easier, but sometimes we take a step back. Wounds heal, but they heal crooked.
  • Trust – Rebuilding trust has proved to be extremely difficult, as you might imagine. A big part of this is that talk is cheap. So we had to move past just talking about rebuilding trust and actually doing it. We have made great strides, but it hasn’t been easy. Throughout the rebuilding process, we have identified eight rules for re-building trust.
  • Peace – I robbed us of peace. I wrestle with forgiving myself. Tammy wrestles with trusting me. On occasion Tammy will have an angry outburst. In other cases, a song, movie, or date on the calendar will bring back a flood of painful memories for one or both of us to unpack.

 

What have you sold too cheaply?

My selfishness was incredibly expensive. But I only see that now in hindsight. What seemed at first to be a personal decision that impacted no one else, turned out to be slippery slope of pain and anguish that devastated my entire family. I sold my integrity, self-esteem, peace of mind, family unity, and marriage at rock-bottom, discount prices. These things were incredibly precious, and I sold them for pennies on the emotional dollar.
 
As I have shared my story with other men, I have heard from so many that they see ways in which they have allowed their own selfishness to chip away at the joy in their marriage. We have all sold something precious in exchange for meeting a selfish desire:
  • Those little white lies you tell your spouse make things easier on you at the cost of your integrity.
  • Pornography costs you pure, genuine intimacy with your mate.
  • Discontentment with what you have or where you live robs you both of peace.
  • Manipulation might pay out at first, but it poisons your relationship, sowing seeds of bitterness.
  • Dismissing your spouse’s need for sexual intimacy could be more convenient, but it damages his or her self-esteem in the process.
  • Harsh words may win an argument, but your emotional bond suffers.
Maybe its time to start putting the correct price tags on your own actions within your marriage. Recognize the ways in which you have played fast and loose with your mate’s heart. It’s time to stop the cycle of selfishness and honor your marriage as the precious gift that it is.
 
So the question is, what have you sold too cheaply?
I had no idea how expensive my affair would be!
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How to Save Your Marriage – Part 2

Posted on August 7, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Renewal .

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. – Judith Viorst

As we shared in Part 1 of the “How to Save your Marriage” series, we recommend a phased approach to marriage renewal. This post explores that first phase.

Phase One – The First Forty Days

Whether you are renewing your marriage to avert an apathetic decline or you are rebuilding after a near-collapse of your relationship, the first phase is critical.

As I explain in Chapter 7 of The Phoenix Marriage:

“The first forty days of your marriage renewal are crucial in changing the atmosphere of your relationship and generating the momentum you need to carry you forward. It won’t be easy. Breaking patterns and habitual ways of thinking and interacting will prove an enormous challenge. We’ve chosen forty days, in part, to help you establish new patterns of behavior. Throughout the Bible, forty days has been shown to be a significant time period. “

During those forty days, you need a clear set of goals and practical actions that you and your spouse can take to put your marriage restoration on a solid footing.

Setting Goals to Save your Marriage

Goals are key to your renewal processLike any endeavor, by establishing and articulating goals it crystalizes your focus and builds a sense of urgency. During your first forty days of renewal, the two of you will want to identify a set of goals to achieve. Some of these goals will be unique to the particular challenges faced in your relationship. Others address more general issues which we found to be common amongst many couples.

Common Goals for Marriage Renewal

  • Break old habits and start new routines
  • Learn to communicate openly and authentically
  • Rebuild your friendship

Of course none of these goals will amount to anything if you don’t put them into action.

Taking Action to Save your Marriage

Take practical actions to renew your marriageIdentifying practical actions to rebuild your relationship is essential. There’s a long list of potential actions the two of you could choose to take, but we identify three common categories here.

(In the book, we describe the set of actions you and your spouse could take in much greater detail.)

  • Action 1: Clean house – A lot of factors contributed to the problems in your relationship. One step you want to take is to clear out any negative influences that are holding you back (alcohol or drugs, prioritizing other relationships, bad communication patterns, toxic relationships, etc.).
  • Action 2: Fresh start – Establish new patterns and routines to change the dynamic of your marriage. The tone and the tempo of your interaction must change. Open communication is a necessity. Prioritizing time together is essential. Grace and love must be the guiding principles of your union. Finally, daily and persistent prayer makes the whole thing work.
  • Action 3: Have fun – Your renewal won’t last if its all about work and sacrifice. You’ve also got to have fun together. Especially during these first forty days you need lots of time together. Time to talk, laugh, play, and recapture the friendship you had when your relationship first began.  

Make it real. Make it practical. And give yourselves some grace and understanding as you work together to walk out your renewal day by day.

What’s Next?

If you want to save your marriage, you have to fully commit to the process. The first forty days are intense and require a tremendous degree of dedication. Through your combined efforts and a dependence on God, you will establish invaluable routines and a firm foundation for your new relationship. The next phase – “Healing and Rebuilding” will involve a greater focus on rebuilding trust and healing the wounds from the past. For now, enjoy the excitement and simplicity of this initial phase of renewal. The journey to restore your marriage has just begun!


The Phoenix Marriage - God creates beauty out of ashesThe content in this post is adapted from our upcoming book (available on Amazon September 2014):

The Phoenix Marriage – Your most important earthly relationship can be restored, renewed, and reborn. God creates beauty out of ashes.

To be among the first to know when the book is released, join our Marriage Booster newsletter.

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How to Save Your Marriage – Part 1

Posted on July 20, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Renewal .
“For richer, for poorer.”
“In sickness and in health.”
“Till death do us part.”How do you renew your marriage
 
The two of you started off with the best of intentions, but something went awry. Once the newness wore off and the pressures of life set in, your bond began to unravel. It may have set in very quickly, or it might have taken many years, but eventually the stress of jobs, babies, bills, and married life took its toll on your relationship.
 
What do you do when your marriage has crumbled? How do you piece the fragments back together? What happens when your “I do” turns into “What do I do?”

Marriage Renewal Can Save Your Family from Divorce

We have come to accept that God can save any marriage. It may be hard to believe that right now. There may be a lot of pain between the two of you. One or both of you may have said some very hurtful things. But in spite of the pain in your past, any marriage can be salvaged. It requires a tremendous level of grit and commitment, but a genuine marriage renewal is possible. In addition to our own story of marriage renewal, we have met couples and walked alongside couples that have successfully renewed their marriages. Marriages are being saved every day. Yours could be the next success story.

Three Ingredients for a Successful Marriage Renewal

Renewing your marriage isn’t easy. It’s a lot of hard work. But it also isn’t complicated. All you really need are three essential ingredients.
  1. God at the center – The most important asset your marriage has is faith. I won’t tell you that a marriage can’t be saved without a deep and abiding faith in God, but I will tell you that we have yet to encounter a successful renewal without it. (Jeremiah 32:17, Matthew 19:26)
  2. Two willing people – One person can’t save a relationship by themselves. It takes two willing partners to do the hard work needed to renew a marriage. Both of you must be willing to work, willing to listen to each other, willing to change, and willing to fight for your marriage. As long as you are a team, the two of you can resolve any issue in your relationship. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
  3. Stubborn love – Love isn’t about goosebumps and butterflies. Romantic comedies give a false perception of real love. Marriage is less like Hugh Grant and more like Bear Grylls. You need a stubborn, tough-as-nails, love full of grit and determination. (I Corinthians 13:8) Love your spouse like Jesus does.

The Marriage Renewal Process

As we describe in our up-coming book, The Phoenix Marriage, the marriage renewal process consists of three phases.
  • Phase 1: The First Forty Days – Initially you need an intense focus on your relationship. During this phase you prioritize your relationship above anything else. Spend time together and reconnect as a couple. Developing your communication skills, avoid negativity, speak kindness and optimism into your union, and rebuild your friendship. For some this is difficult, but for many this initial phase can be exhilarating and refreshing. 
  • Phase 2: Healing and Rebuilding – Moving beyond the initial burst of activity in renewing your marriage, you must now begin the more long-term process of healing and rebuilding. You likely have a lot of hurt to unpack. The process of healing wounds is not a neat and clean one, because wounds heal crooked. This phase can be difficult to handle as the two of you experience emotional cycles and work through months or years of pain and neglect. Take it one day at a time and lean on the three ingredients we discussed earlier (God, your willingness to work as a team, a stubborn and unshakable love).
  • Phase 3: On-going Investment – Eventually the tone of your relationship will shift from healing and rebuilding to continual marriage renewal. Emotional episodes and relationship repair will occur less and less. At some point you will transition toward on-going maintenance and investment in your relationship. This level of engagement will be less than the first two phases, but far more than the level of investment you made before your renewal. Successful relationships require work. Never stop pouring love, honor, and grace into your marriage.

Marriage Renewal Ground Rules

If your marriage renewal is to be a success, the two of you must identify and agree to follow a fundamental set of ground rules.
  • Rule #1: Emotions are always good – No matter how hard it may be to hear your mate express the way he or she feels, you must realize that emotions are never “wrong”. There are certainly healthy and unhealthy expressions of emotion, but emotions themselves are ALWAYS valid.
  • Rule #2: Raw communication is encouraged – Everyone says they want honesty, but some truths are hard to hear. No matter how difficult it might be, we have found that open, honest communication is best. Brutal, no-holds barred authenticity is necessary if the two of you are going to be able to reconnect and process the pain between you.
  • Rule #3: Take responsibility for your stuff – How did your marriage get into trouble in the first place? It takes two to tango and it takes two to dissolve a marriage. Each of you played some role in whittling away the strength of your relationship. Admit your faults and put your heart on the line with a soul-reaching apology for hurting your mate.
  • Rule #4: Everyone loses at the blame game – Your marriage doesn’t need shaming and blaming. It needs massive doses of love and grace. Each of you should take responsibility for your own baggage and enthusiastically apologize to the other as needed (see Rule #3). But thrusting blame on your partner is never the right answer.
  • Rule #5: Don’t try to do this alone – Renewing your marriage will necessitate that you and your spouse spend a lot of time together; but you can’t renew your marriage alone. Your marriage needs a mentor. Each of you need positive influences in your lives to help hold you accountable in your renewal journey. Surround yourselves with a support network. Isolation is dangerous.

If anything in your life has ever been worth fighting for - Fight for your marriage. Marriage renewal is possible, it just takes work.God Can Save Any Marriage

The exact course of your marriage renewal is not predictable. Your process will likely look different from what is experienced by others, but some elements are common. Your marriage renewal requires the same three ingredients, will follow the same basic three-step process, and should adhere to all five ground rules that we identified. These concepts and more are explored in greater detail in our up-coming book, The Phoenix Marriage.
 
This post is the first in a series of articles on marriage renewal. We’ll unpack more details on how to save your marriage in the next several posts.
 
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I Ruined My Marriage and So Can You!

Posted on July 11, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Booster, Marriage Renewal .

Some people think it’s hard to mess up a relationship, but it’s actually quite simple. I’m going to share with you the secret to screwing up your marriage so that you can learn to be a fool just like me!

OK. Are you ready for the secret? Here it comes…..Make it all about you.

Pretty simple, huh? It might seem simple, but if you are really going to fully commit to selfishness in your marriage, you’ll need to put some effort into it.

How to Ruin Your Marriage in Five Simple Steps

Checklist to followSelfishness requires complete and total commitment to yourself above all else. Your entire relationship must revolve around YOU.

  1. Your needs – Focus on your own needs and what you are or are not getting out of the relationship.
  2. Your pride – Wait for your mate to take the first step in addressing problems or resolving conflict.
  3. Your priorities – Invest most of your time and energy in work, kids, friends, hobbies, and “me” time.
  4. Your perspective – Make assumptions. Lots and lots of assumptions.
  5. Your vanity – Compare your spouse and your marriage to others.

At every turn, find a way to view your mate and your marriage through the lens of how it directly impacts you and your ideas. The more intently you can focus on yourself, the quicker you’ll be able to ruin your once promising union. I should know, because I did all five of these and I very nearly destroyed my marriage as a result.

Step 1 – Your Needs

We are all born with needs. Needs are inherently good. But the trouble with marriage is that for it to be successful you have to die to yourself and put your mate’s needs above your own! You have to invest time and energy serving your husband or wife rather than worrying about how to get your own needs met. The irony, of course, is that when both of you do this, your respective needs get fulfilled beyond your wildest comprehension. But that requires a lot of time and sacrifice. The quicker path to meeting your needs is to beg, nag, complain, and manipulate your spouse into begrudgingly satisfying your desire for time and attention.

Step 2 – Your Pride

If you’ve been married for more than a week, you no doubt have uncovered areas of conflict. There are things that each of you do which frustrate and annoy the other. Friction inevitably arises, leaving you with a choice. You can either take the initiative in resolving the conflict or indignantly wait for your spouse to extend an olive branch. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect, suggests that the only way to break this inevitable stalemate is for “the more mature one to act first.” But of course, that would require accepting some measure of fault in the matter. That sort of humility and vulnerability could easily lead to a closer bond in your marriage. If, on the other hand, you’re aiming to ruin your marriage, I recommend that you stand your ground. Wait for your mate to take the initiative and admit fault first. 

It's all about you.Step 3 – Your Priorities

Time is a precious commodity. Every one of us has vital choices to make daily in the way we spend our time. If you want a surefire way to chip away at your marital bonds and sap your relationship of joy, you need only move your marriage to the bottom of the priority stack. Work is essential and gratifying. Children are the future. Friends are irreplaceable. And hobbies are the only way to maintain your sanity! Whatever time or energy you have left over should be more than enough for your spouse to survive on. Besides, you don’t want to be one of those clingy, co-dependent couples. Yuck!

Step 4 – Your Perspective

Perspective is a marvelous thing. With it, we have the power to color any action or statement with all manner of meaning and implication. In fact, we naturally apply our own perspective to every piece of information that we absorb. Since you share so much for your life with your spouse, it is especially important to pay attention to what assumptions you make and what motivations you attach to his or her actions. If you aren’t careful, you might find yourself assuming the best about them. You might even extend grace and understanding to your mate. Be careful. If you want to sow seeds of bitterness and resentment in your relationship, you need to assume the worst case scenario whenever possible. Make sure and twist your mate’s words and actions into the worst possible light. After all, your perspective and your feelings are what truly matter.

Step 5 – Your Vanity

Remember when you got married? Remember how perfect and amazing your spouse seemed at the time? Well, it’s only a matter of time before you began to recognize his or her flaws. Which is a pretty raw deal because you deserve nothing but the best! Another key ingredient in dissolving the joy in your marriage is to constantly compare. Other couples seem happier, exercise together more, go on better vacations, have more fun with their kids, earn more money, are skinnier, tanner, and just all around better. Their grass is super green. Why can’t your marital grass be really green too? If you want to cripple your intimacy, take note of all the ways your spouse and your marriage don’t measure up to your ideal. Memorize the list and recite it to yourself. Next, complain frequently to your devoted mate about things on that list. Before you know it, your marriage will be headed for a tailspin!

Rome Wasn’t Destroyed in a Day

Doing any one or even all of these five steps might not demolish your marriage over night. In some cases, it may take years for your selfishness to erode the fiber of your marriage. But don’t give up! Keep making assumptions. Never stop comparing your spouse or your marriage to others. Most of all, constantly turn the focus of your relationship on yourself, taking every measure necessary to meet your needs at all costs. Your marriage may be resilient, but just keep chipping away at it. Enough selfishness and sin can wear down even the strongest bond. Your marriage can be a failure – one selfish day at a time.

 

 

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The Declaration of Independence Lied to You

Posted on July 6, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Renewal, Our Story, Uncategorized .

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The Declaration of Independence lied to you.

Happiness isn’t something you pursue. It’s something you create.

I’ve tried to pursue happiness most of my life

In my twenties, I changed jobs every six months. I moved apartments constantly. I was always looking for the next hobby / project / activity to throw myself into. I have spent the majority of my adulthood chasing happiness in one form or another.

It took years before I stopped chasing happiness, but not before I made the biggest mistake of my life…


[This is an excerpt from a guest post over at Stupendous Marriage. You can read the full article there.]

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Eight rules for rebuilding trust in your marriage

Posted on June 26, 2014 by Kyle Gabhart Posted in Marriage Renewal, Our Story .

Trust. Its the cornerstone of any relationship. It holds soldiers together in foxholes and knits hearts together in marriage. The bond of trust is sacred and precious – until it’s broken.

What do you do when you cross the line that you swore you would never cross? How do you continue in a relationship when your spouse breaks your heart, trampling on the vows he or she promised to keep? Whether the result of infidelity, abuse, addiction, or neglect, the loss of trust in a relationship is devastating. And while the prospect of a bright future together looks dim, there is hope.

Rebuilding trust in your marriage is hard, because wounds heal crooked. My wife and I are 18 months into our own journey of renewal. Along the way, we have been blessed to walk alongside other couples. Some are further down the road than we are and others have just recently begun their renewal process. Through our renewal process and that of others, we have gleaned eight rules for rebuilding trust in your marriage.

Eight Rules for Rebuilding Trust in Your Marriage

Many of these rules apply equally to both parties, while others are specific to the spouse that is working to rebuild the trust (the trust healer) or the spouse that is learning to trust again (the hurting spouse).

  1. Be patient (both of you) – There is no timetable for rebuilding trust. Forgiveness and trust are very personal matters and require a sufficient and unknown amount of time to accomplish. Don’t rush this process.
  2. Be open (both of you) – Communicate early (before a problem can escalate) and often (as frequently as an issue occurs). Share your hearts with one another and be vulnerable in expressing your doubts and fears.
  3. Be reliable (trust healer) – Under-promise and over-deliver. Don’t make hasty, unrealistic commitments. Instead, let your word be your bond and overwhelm your spouse with your consistency and predictability.
  4. Be humble (trust healer) – Pride is the enemy of trust. You must empty yourself of ego and be willing to take any measures necessary to heal the brokenness (formal apologies, schedule changes, job changes, routine changes, etc.).
  5. Be receptive (hurting spouse) – You must be receptive to the work that God wants to do in your heart. You also need to be open to receiving love from your spouse and accept his or her efforts to demonstrate trustworthiness.
  6. Be understanding (trust healer) – Recognize that your spouse is hurt and those wounds will take time to heal. Throughout the healing process, be prepared to provide constant reassurance. Furthermore, the healing process may go in cycles. There will be good days and bad days, but be compassionate and understanding throughout.
  7. Be courageous (both of you) – It is tempting to give into fear and doubt, to assume that one or both of your will break the trust again. It is tempting to believe that the outlook is hopeless. Resist all of this negativity. Be optimistic and courageous.
  8. Be expectant (both of you) – Expect God to reveal Himself powerfully. Put your faith in Him and expect that He will meet both of you more than half-way. You aren’t in this alone. The God of Heaven is in your corner and will bless your marriage with the peace and understanding you need to re-establish confidence.

Once trust has been broken, it is difficult – but not impossible – to restore. As Jesus said, “With God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26).

Rebuilding Trust in Your Marriage is Tricky

Once trust has been broken by one or both of you, you’ll find yourselves caught in a colossal “catch-22” scenario. On the one hand, trust has been broken and is in desperate need of restoration. On the other hand, the primary means of rebuilding trust is to use words. When your words no longer carry weight, how can you possibly use them to repair the damaged trust?

As I discussed in a previous post, when you realize that talk is cheap, you must resort to demonstrating your love and commitment through action.How to rebuild trust in your marriage

Actions elegantly and clearly express your heart. By their very nature, they cannot lie. Sacrificial love can be demonstrated daily. Honor can be given through your actions. Day by day and week by week trust can be rebuild through acts of love, honor, and sacrifice. In time, words can once again regain power. But that must be earned.

Rebuilding Trust in Your Marriage is Worth It

It breaks my heart that you marriage is in need of renewal. Loss of trust is devastating and rebuilding that trust is a very hard road. But take heart, because it’s worth it. Your marriage can be made new again. Like scar tissue forming over a wound, the end result might be messy but it will be stronger than it was before. Marriage renewal isn’t just about surviving, but about thriving. Tammy and I have never been so close or felt so hopeful about the road ahead. The bond of trust can be rebuilt in your marriage, too. Your best days are together are yet to come.


The Phoenix Marriage - God creates beauty out of ashesThe content in this post is adapted from our upcoming book (available on Amazon September 2014):

The Phoenix Marriage– Your most important earthly relationship can be restored, renewed, and reborn.

God makes beauty out of ashes.

 

To be among the first to know when the book is released, join our Marriage Booster newsletter.

 

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