My wife is an incredible woman that has taught me so much about faith and unconditional love. She has a huge heart, and an infectious personality. I used to love her like creme brulee, but now my aim every day is to love her like broccoli, the super-food.
Romantic Love is Like Creme Brulee
For most of my life, I have had a skewed view of love and marriage. Love is about romance, poetry, showering my bride with tokens of love, walking hand-in-hand, and making-out so passionately that it drives our kids crazy.
Romantic love is exhilarating and its fun. It’s also not sustainable.
Romantic love is a lot like dessert. It’s delicious and its enjoyable, but too much of it can make you sick to your stomach (ok, at some point every analogy breaks down). But the point is that you simply can’t eat dessert constantly. It gives you a quick burst of energy, but it won’t provide the fuel you need to support sustained activity. Eventually, the high will wear off, and you’ll crash…hard.
Unconditional Love is Like Broccoli
Love in your marriage shouldn’t come and go. The love you have for your mate shouldn’t vary based on how you feel that day or how strong your communication has been lately. Love should be based on who your spouse is, the commitment you have made, and the awareness you have that God’s love for you never wavers (Romans 5:8 and I Corinthians 13:7).
What a marriage needs to be grounded in is a steady diet of unconditional love.
Unconditional love is a lot like vegetables. It’s not as thrilling, but it also won’t rot your teeth. It’s packed with life-sustaining nutrition that gives you lasting energy. When you love your mate this way, it gives them the spiritual and emotional energy they need to deal with life. Loving your spouse with no conditions is to love him or her like Jesus does. It means that their actions and your feelings aren’t a relevant part of the equation. It’s a love of commitment, not convenience. It’s a covenant love.
My Wife Deserves Better
For the first few years of our marriage, I loved my wife with a cheap and unpredictable version of “love”. Romantic love is exciting, but it’s not reliable. It creates a lot of heat and enthusiasm, but it fizzles out just as readily. Romantic love is GREAT, but she deserves so much more than a shallow, emotional love. She deserves a mature, unwavering love. She deserves a husband that honors her and serves her regardless of how he feels on any particular day.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – I Corinthians 13:7
I’m not giving up on my romantic notions of marriage and my desire to spoil my wife with emotional creme brulee. I’m just committed to nourishing her mind and soul every day with an unconditional broccoli kind of love.