Our conversations dragged. Tension filled the room. Affection had become hit or miss. After three years together, our marriage had degraded into a cold and distant shell of what it once had been. The stress and pressure of blending a family, building a house, and traveling for work had robbed us of joy and crippled our intimacy.
Then, at the start of 2013 we tried something new in the bedroom and it radically changed our relationship, saving our marriage.
Our Recipe for Marital Intimacy
My wife and I put together a simple, four-step recipe for heating up our relationship:
- Tuck the kids into bed
- Close the door to our bedroom
- Spend quality time together cuddling, watching TV, etc.
- Then the magic starts….we pray together
At first our prayers were out of desperation, as we worked to repair the rubble of our marriage. In time, our prayers transformed to become more focused on our family, our future, and eventually on our mission as a couple.
The Power of Prayer
Through prayer, we have transformed the dynamic of our marriage:
- Prayer for healing of past hurts
- Gratitude for God’s redemption of our mess
- We have sought wisdom and a clear vision for our future as a couple and a family
- Prayer for peace during hard times
- Strength to overcome the weight of guilt from past mistakes
- Prayer has revealed new levels of intimacy
- Fear is crushed and worry is obliterated through the power of prayer
- Prayer draws us closer to each other by drawing us closer to God
Prayer has dramatically changed the fabric of our marriage. It has created a daily opportunity for us to stop, take stock of our lives, and connect in the most authentic and genuine way possible. It connects us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, knitting our hearts and minds together in a shared vision of our home.
The Power of Prayer
Sixteen months later, we still pray daily and the difference is dramatic. We cherish our conversations. We are relaxed and at peace around each other. Our affection is warm and natural. It’s taken a lot of work to rebuild our relationship; but nothing has been a bigger contribution to that healing process than our commitment to pray together every night.
The content in this post is adapted from our upcoming book (available on Amazon September 2014):
The Phoenix Marriage– Your most important earthly relationship can be restored, renewed, and reborn.
God creates beauty out of ashes.
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